Do not lose your humanity on the job. You are human and so are your colleagues. We are working with people with real feelings, and real life challenges. We do not know what damage is weighing them down, or how many tears they shed when no one is looking or why.
We are all dealing with pain in one way or another for different reasons, from different types of experiences. We know what ours is but we cannot read another’s. Unfortunately, most of our colleagues use the work platform to manifest their personal torment, prejudices, insecurities and biases.
Should you consistently react and become who and whatever they want you to become?
Or should you take the higher ground and just be yourself?
Should you find a way to get them back, be vindictive? Or forgive and let it go?
It’s not that you are dumb or stupid, and yes oftentimes you are justified to give it right back, but there is more power in letting their words and actions become water on a duck’s back. Keep moving. See it for what it is: not worth your time of day. Most importantly you are not the one for a tit-for-tat situation. You have worked on yourself too hard, been through too much, come a long way to let yourself stoop to that!
Be your higher self and take the higher ground. Yes, this can be very agonizing most times, but with much practice, it becomes easier and easier to a point where you almost don’t even have to think about it and will yourself to take a higher ground, you just simply find yourself doing so naturally.
When your focus is to fulfill purpose, or search for purpose in order to fulfill purpose, taking the higher ground becomes so much easier, because your focus is on destiny and not a destination that is one stop fits all.
Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. – Colossians 3:2
What is your focus this week? Will you embrace your higher self?
For hundreds of years our souls have been taught that the one is better than the other. For hundreds of years it has been drummed into our spirit that the one is higher than the other. For hundreds of years it has been drilled into our minds that the one is beneath the other. These greatly dark lies have to stop. These damaging lies have to stop. These ill-founded fabrications have to be erased. These deceptions have to be conquered together, by us sister. These denigrating and degrading falsehoods have to be defeated by us, together, sister. We have to find the understanding sister, the strength, courage, wisdom and power to overcome these destructive lies that have separated us for centuries, and soar together, beyond their evil saturation and influence.
You are not better than me. I am not better than you. As women we face many of the same challenges. We cry for liberty, we cry for freedom, we cry for equality, but yet, some of us think we are better, or less, than the other. We have fed into the damaging lies, and if we keep on doing so, they will continue to take away the joy of being sisters. They will blind us from the peace of coming together. They will disunite us from the power of coming together as one, and assisting each other in fulfilling our purpose.
We have found ways to belittle each other, we have allowed ourselves to be taught that one is more intelligent than the other, and that one is more acceptable than the other for all the wrong reasons. We have permitted ourselves to believe that one has more authority than the other, and that even God loves the one more than the other, when in truth, He surrounds you and I with nothing but unconditional love, regardless of race, color, creed or background.
When will we stop self-destructing and destroying each other? When will we come together to heal, be whole and use our strength to heal each other and the world? When will the children grow up to see that one is not better than the other? That they all deserve dignity, love, joy, peace and respect, regardless of their race, creed or complexion. It starts with you and I sister. It starts with you and I. Yes.
We are the ones who can feed and nurture the future, the children, relationships, and work places. We both hold the capacity to destroy or to build. Which will it be? We both have the power to crush or to give life. Which will we choose?
What does it matter what my complexion is, or what yours is? There is nothing about you that is better than me, and there is nothing about me that is better than you. Time to wake up sister from the lies that we have been fed. Time to wake up sister, from the deceits and falsehoods that we have allowed ourselves to believe and have become comfortable in. Time to wake up sister, from the deceptions we have swallowed and fooled ourselves with. Time to wake up sister from the prejudices, stigma, judgments, preconceived notions and biases that have flooded our minds, souls and spirits about each other.
Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers over all wrongs. -Proverbs 10:12 (NIV)
Wake up sister. Wake up. Let’s build, together, before it is too late.
Are you feeling like a cog in a machine? Is someone making you feel like you are just a cog, and that you are irrelevant? Are you making someone feel like they are just a cog in the machine? Without any of us, the machine, the system, the office, your family, your friends, acquaintances and strangers, the world, Earth, will not function a hundred per cent. There is something about you, a piece of you, a part of you, that appears insignificant, but it is that very part of you, that we all need, to fully function. You are not indispensable. We are not indispensable. Everyone has a gift to give, whether or not we know this, whether or not we accept this, is another matter, and makes all the difference. We are not, not one of us, an insignificant cog.
Never look down on anyone. Never underestimate anyone. Never give up on anyone. Never cast them away or think that you are better than them, in any way, shape or form. You just never know. They carry something we all and the rest of the world needs. They might appear foolish, immaterial and inconsequential, but if we would just stop focusing on self-importance for a minute, look closer and look deeper at the other person we think is beneath us, or we think has no intelligence, we will see their significance.
If we would just act kinder, less down-putting, less condescending, we will see the gold they carry within. And if we cannot assist them, we should just leave them alone. If we cannot add to their well-being why torment them? Because they are different? Because they are not who we want them to be, or because, in our opinion, they are not good enough, and up to our standards? But what standards exactly? If you cannot accept another, walk away peacefully. If you cannot build, do not destroy.
We can assist each other, if we deliberately make the choice to snap out of our biases, prejudices, expectations and pedestals. So how about we come with the beauty and light that we all carry within us and make the machine of our world and existence work beautifully for each and every one of us? Come with our joy. Come with our potential. Come with our gift. Come with our passion. Come with our love. Come with our kindness. Come with our patience. Come with our understanding. Come with our purpose and never look down on others.
Our part, our purpose might appear small, but they are not. They might seem unimportant and dwarfed by other “bigger” purposes, but that is just a figment of our imagination. Our role, our title might look irrelevant compared to bigger roles and bigger titles, but we, each and every one of us, is absolutely relevant and significant. Without each of us, every single one of us, the machine, the system, our communities, our relationships, our families, our workplaces, our world, does not, will not function, to their fullest capacity and potential.
There is an unspoken, sometimes undiscovered connection, between all of us humans; but we have broken those connection lines in a million destructive ways. It is not impossible to fix them, unless we are too far gone of course, locked up in our egos, shackled down by our own self-centeredness, insensitive to how others feel. There is unspeakable, indescribable divine potential within all of us, if we would just tap into it. What we think is weakness can be turned into power. What we think is useless, might become the most useful, what we think is foolishness, might turn out to be the deepest wisdom.
Think well. Let’s think well before we judge and condemn. Let’s think well before we belittle another. Let’s think well and not look down on what might appear to be the insignificant cog. Appearances are likely deceiving. The reality and the truth is that the very thing that we look down on, could very well be our lifesaver. Do not, never, look down on yourself, because you do carry innate divine wisdom, intelligence and potential. You are not, we are not, insignificant. Not at all.
Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things–and the things that are not–to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. – Corinthians 1-26:29 (New International Version)
This Labor Day, after all the celebrations, it is very important to reflect on what type of colleague you truly are. It is important to be aware of when we are contributing to negativity. We must realize, as colleagues, how profound our position is in creating an office environment, how we can manipulate situations and people. It should humble and propel us to build and not destroy, to create good and not cause or add to chaos, or another’s embarrassment or demise. Ask yourself what type of person you are in the office? Be honest with yourself.
Do you, nourish, serve, stimulate, urge, uphold and propel your co-workers?
Do you, motivate, inspire, uplift, cheer and champion your colleagues?
Do you, encourage, assist, reassure, revitalize, lend a hand and give others a leg up in your office?
Or, do you damage, block, discourage, handicap, obstruct, impede, thwart and throw others in your workplace under the bus?
Do you get into a fight about every little thing or do you pick your battles? Picking your battles, even ignoring some battles, is not fear or cowardice. It is quiet power. It is having peaceful confidence that you have much better things to do, and that the amount of energy it would take engaging in a confrontation is just not worth it.
Are you controlling at the workplace? Trying to be in charge and controlling doesn’t take away our insecurities; it makes us weaker and makes the emptiness inside us louder. Think about it: how many times have you thought you had every one and yourself under control? How long did it last? More importantly, what did that really do for you? Ask yourself what works better for your soul and people’s hearts and lives: controlling and thwarting them or serving them?
Sadly, many people perpetuate a cycle of abuse on others, and unfortunately, many of us have experienced bullying tactics in our offices. Many individuals have not taken the time to self-realize, confront their real demons, and too many colleagues come in contact with them and have had to endure their bullying and abuse just about every day of the week.
This Labor Day, take a deep breath and choose to be at peace with yourself and set on your journey to always be that better person, that better colleague. Your attitude can bring healing to your workplace.
Choose not to badmouth others.
Choose not to revel in your co-worker’s mistakes.
Choose not to rejoice in your colleague’s errors.
Choose not to humiliate and belittle people you work with.
Choose to bring salvation to tough situations, and don’t react adversely blow for blow.
Choose to forgive and not harbor grudges.
Choose to assist and bring peace to your work environment.
There will be days when you do not want to help others, when you want to keep all your skills and knowledge to yourself. There will be times when you are annoyed or aggravated by a colleague who asks for your help. You may from time to time feel that keeping your working knowledge to yourself, instead of teaching others, will help separate you from the pack.
Working in an office means working collaboratively. When you keep certain information or certain skills to yourself, you may actually be hurting your team and hurting your own positive trajectory!
Assisting a colleague at work should be seen as privilege, a gift and an honor.
It is a privilege because someone else could have been your colleague’s assistant. It is a gift because a certain joy should fill you when imparting knowledge. It is an honor because you should be humbled that you are in a position to assist another.
Instead of hoarding information and skills, why not share that knowledge and allow others to grow? You may be surprised how fulfilling it is to teach and then sit back and witness the fruits of your kind action.
On the flip side, it is important to be aware of how you help others. Are you genuinely helpful or are you expecting reimbursement for your shared time and knowledge? When you help someone, do you do it loudly so that everyone else can hear you, and thus embarrass your colleague? What does it say about you when every time you assist someone, you make it a point to tell everyone in the office and discredit the person who just learned something new from you?
A rising tide lifts all boats.
Remember, you have been in situations where you have needed assistance, too. The knowledge and skills you currently have are hardly innate! You did not just get to where you are now overnight. Many people helped you along your journey. Find it in your heartto show the same grace and mercy to your colleagues in need.
Take great comfort in knowing that when you are able to help a fellow colleague you are helping the whole team. You are helping to create a better work environment for everyone around you – including yourself. Be a beacon of light. Generate positive energy. Empower others to take control of their work and assist others in becoming the guides of their own vessels.
It is a privilege, a gift and an honor to assist another. In the end, you will reap the blessing.
Guess what… I am NOT referring to money! I’m referring to your heart, your spirit, your soul, and your attitude. YES you CAN be supremely RICH in mind, soul, spirit and heart! Let’s take a quick quiz to find out where you stand…
Pop Quiz! (Answer honestly for best results.)
Are you the type of colleague who is always seeking adoration?
How far are you willing to go to be adored and worshipped?
Are you the type of colleague who needs validation?
How far are you willing to go to be validated?
How many times a day, a week, a month, a year, do these have to occur for you to feel satisfied?
Do you get your high on being the center of attention?
Have you ever thought about how this need affects your colleagues?
Each answer you gave above reflects how rich you are in mind, heart, and soul. How do you feel?
Now take a minute and think: how would your ideal self answer each question? Would the answers change?
How healthy is your spirit? How full is your heart? How whole is your soul? Do you feel that you need a change of attitude? A refilling of your heart? A cleansing of your spirit?
No matter how you answered, know that you are okay. You CAN come to center and move forward with grace and purpose.
Breathe deeply. Channel positivity. Develop a mantra to get you through tough moments. Know that you are worthy in the eyes of God. The rest will follow.
Do you feel like you are able to be your best self at work? The majority of us are working hard to earn a paycheck every two weeks. We strive for our work to feel good. We want to be inspired by positive energy and to be encouraged to perform at our best levels.
However it’s an unfortunate truth that some of us feel that we cannot blossom at our jobs. We don’t feel good. We are surrounded by negative energy. And as for feeling encouraged to work at our best levels? Forget about it!
Instead we are held back by fear. We bring our personal insecurities to the office. We fear another colleague’s judgment. We face bosses who are never satisfied, no matter what we do or how hard we work. We face put downs, cynicism, belittling treatment, and smug looks.
It’s easy to allow such treatment to paralyze. It’s easy to allow others to prevent us from trying our best and putting our best face forward. How can we be expected to flourish in a place of darkness? By shining our own brilliant light!
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” -Eleanor Roosevelt
The hard truth is that we need these chiselers in our life to help shape us into becoming the best version of ourselves. We will never reach our potential and we will never maximize our true abilities unless we face hardships. We CAN overcome the naysayers, the grouches, the mean-spirited. Slowly, steadily, but surely we can begin to flourish and create our own positive energy to push us through.
Reflect, breathe deep, and perform like never before!
Have you ever asked yourself that question? Have you ever thought to take a moment to take your eyes off other colleagues and to instead really look at yourself from within?
What do you see? Do you see someone who readily points fingers at other colleagues, blaming them for everything?
Or do you see someone who sees things for what they are and with a good spirit and heart? Someone who endeavors to pursue not just your success and joys of work but that of others?
Do you assist others in doing and being the best that they can be at work or are you gleeful about their ‘failures’?
What spurs you on: throwing others under the carpet or celebrating a victory for all on the job?
Are you the colleague who will aide others to succeed, buoy them up when they are down, or scheme to make their lives even more miserable?
Do you assist your fellow colleagues, lend a kind hand, say a kind word, champion them on, nurture and bolster them?
We can all work harder to make the work place a better place for each other. Let’s begin by asking ourselves the tough questions about how we contribute to the joy or the misery of others at our work places. After all we are colleagues, we are people, and all of us are valuable and precious, and do not deserve abuse or denial to be the best that we can be.
We all deserve to excel, and sometimes it just takes a kind word, a slight urging and encouragement, a moment where we are treated with decency and dignity. It works wonders for our productivity.
What will you do this day, this week, this month, to support, stimulate, uphold and motivate a fellow colleague?
The choice is always ours; our freewill can assist or destroy. What do you choose?
I have always wondered why many of us hate what we don’t know or don’t even understand. Sometimes we look at other people and just hate them. It’s an impulse that simply feeds negativity and bad energy. Instead, I wish for us all, myself included, to just learn to give joy, peace and love to each other, and in times when we cannot bring ourselves to do so, that we walk away and just leave things well alone.
If we cannot understand why a colleague is different, thinks differently, acts differently from us, and does not talk or walk the way we want, does that warrant hate, gossip and put down?
Just as we feel the right to be who we are, so they feel that they have the right to be who they are, too.
I mean, don’t we all have work to do? Aren’t there more important things to spend our precious time and energy on other than bickering, complaining, and psychoanalyzing each other? Wouldn’t our time be much better spent taking the time to know a little more about each other?
None of us have walked in another’s shoes so what do we really know? What are we really hating here and how do we hate someone we don’t even know? What does that say about us?
This week, cleanse yourself of the negative, hateful views you harbor of just one person and try instead to look at them in a brighter, more positive light. Do your best to soften negative impulses or jumping to negative conclusions about a person’s character. Let me know how it goes!